We’re back again and this time we’re talking rules, regulations, challenges and, most importantly, forfeits.

Because if I spent this series just merrily trundling along like a hobbit through the fields of The Shire, packing players here, buying them there, there would be no… drama.

We need something that will create stories, that will allow silver legends to rise out of the ashes of a freshly discarded first XI like a phoenix. We need jeopardy as I face an uphill battle to complete a challenge so I don’t lose my star striker, or, worse, go into Administration.

Nothing good ever came easy, and I don’t plan on making this a walk in the park in the hope it brings longevity, entertainment and fun.

A Recap of the Rules

We set out the rules that will govern this series in Episode 1:

• I can only use players from the USA
• There is no initial ratings cap on my starter team
• I get two Wildcard spots, which can be non-USA players but must be icons or heroes
• If the player is a new icon or hero for FC26, they can be packed or an SBC
• If it’s an existing icon or hero, they must be packed
• Each week I will have a challenge to complete
• The ‘week’ will run Thursday to Thursday to match Division Rivals
• If I beat the challenge I get to open packs
• If I lose the challenge, I have to spin the Wheel of Pain & Panic

So those are the rules — they may well fluctuate as the series progresses, and I’ll try and keep them in line with the Power Curve of the game.

Challenge Time

Now for the bit I know you’re all waiting for, the challenges I’ll have to face each week in order to a) keep my team together and b) open packs for the chance at better ones.

As mentioned last time, challenges are designed to be difficult but not impossible — some may be easier than others, and they will be chosen at random each week.

We want some I’m a Celeb/ Crystal Maze style jeopardy here, we’re not looking for me being strapped to a table in a torture dungeon jeopardy (get that image out of your head now, ha!).

So, let’s get into it…

Run The Gauntlet (NEW for FC26) Run the Gauntlet across five games in the new UT mode — you’ll need to use a completely different squad for each game, but all must be from the USA.

• 0 wins = Adminstration
• 1 win = quicksell highest rated player from the losing match
• 2 wins = quicksell player who had the lowest match rating in the losing game
• 3 wins = nothing!
• 4 wins = open the rewards
• 5 wins = open the rewards and buy any player

Cup Run (NEW for FC26) Win a tournament — depending on requirements this doesn’t have to be a full USA squad.

Happy Wife, Happy Life Get wife to choose the team — win the game

Lack of Legs Win a game using the slowest players in the club

Play The D Win a game using only CBs

Beginners Luck? Win a game using two button settings...

Sir Alexa Ferguson I say the name of the player, Alexa chooses a number between 1 and 18 for where they go in the team — win the game using this squad

Leftie is Bestie Win a game using left footers only

David Win a game using the players with lowest stats for each area – so defenders with lowest DEF, mids with lowest PAS, strikers with lowest SHO

Goliath Use your highest rated players, but if you lose, they go!

Tri-Color Win a game using a starting XI consisting of 4 Bronze, 4 Silver and 3 Gold players

Attack Vs Defence Win a game using all out attack in the first half, drop back 1 depth in the second

Hobbiton FC Win a game using smallest players available – one keeper then smallest outfield players no matter the position

Sky High Win a game using the tallest players available, one keeper then 10 outfield players no matter what position

He’s No Finnish He’s Only 28 Win a game using no player under 28 years old

Young Guns Win a game using no player over 19 years old

Debut Delight Win a game using only players who haven't played before (in Rivals), can play

Home Or Away Handicap If playing at home, score two own goals at the start of the game, if playing away, add two goals onto your final goals total — win the game

(S)he’s a Keeper Win a game using a Starting XI of goalkeepers

Full House Win enough games to earn the full Division Rivals Rewards for that week

Some of these challenges will be, erm, tricky. I don’t fancy rocking into a sweaty Rivals game with a starting XI of goalkeepers, nor does needing four bronze players sound like much fun…

I fully expect to have my prostate examined at various points while trying to complete these challenges, and the ‘win’ aspect in almost all of them will likely be tricky. I’m sure I could eke out the odd draw, but winning? Oh dear…

Next time we dive into what our starter team will be, including the ONE player we’re going to build this whole thing around…

Until next time, Yeehaw!

DJ